this is your brain...

this is my desk. this is also a visual representation of how my brain feels after a day's work.

as you can see, it is pretty messy and cluttered. and may be a key to explaining some of the woes mentioned in my previous post. but i will try not to revisit past topics too much.

i am a firm believer in, even if not a practitioner of, the philosophy of feng shui. when my home is a mess, when my bed is unmade, when the mail and laundry lay unsorted, my life reflects it. i think that The Hubs gets it, but it seems to bother him in episodes, not constantly like me. however, isn't it easier at the end of the day to just walk out of the office and shut the door on your messy desk? i don't even have to turn off the light; the motion sensor does that for me. unfortunately the mess is always there when i return in the morning, waiting just for me. it does not require coffee, either, in order to function apparently.

i constantly dream about our "perfect house"; i even call where we live now our 'pretend house' because we are just renting. but i have all those rooms planned out in my head. the spacious, warm, light- and book-filled nooks where The beautiful Hubs and i will never make a mess. yeah, right.

february is my birth month, and i suppose that i am a little more reflective during these 28 days than at other points in the year. my birthday feels like my very own New Year's celebration. i have always considered February 25 to be the start of my year, not January 1. and the not at all subtle point i am making is that, along with those other changes that i mentioned, maybe 32 is the year to finally tackle my own interior feng shui project; not to merely close the door on another opportunity.