love - the spiritual and metaphysical

sorry for the lack of posts recently. i had grand plans of posting my definition of love on friday night, and to dedicate it to my sweet Hubs as a Valentine's gift, but i was pooped. excuses, excuses.

tomorrow night, i'll tell all about our Valentine's weekend and the material aspect of 'love'. but tonight, i just want to share what i know about love from a metaphysical sense. being a lawyer, we tend to need to define things, spell out the elements of a matter, outline the arguments for and against, present all sorts of evidence. and so last week i found myself asking the ridiculous question, 'what is love?' i think that it is ridiculous because, in my experience, love is never something that can be pinned down or defined, no matter how many times i've tried.

know that line from 'in my life' by the beatles: "and these memories lose their meaning, when i think of love as something new"? that one always chokes me up. i think of my parents and the kind of selfless love that they gave me my entire life, and continue to do so even to this day. for me, the concept of love is not new - it has been a part of my life each day that i have lived. and i can't quite explain it - they just loved me. they listened to me. they respected what i thought, even if they didn't agree. they supported what i wanted to do, and they encouraged me to try new things. they let me cry to them when someone hurt me. they celebrated my accomplishments. they helped me get through difficult times. they let me know when i did something to dissapoint them, and they forgave me for it. it was just always a given with my parents - they were there to love me.

and so it was with this background that formed my basis for romantic love - however strange that may sound. i can honestly say that before The Hubs and i got together, i had never really been in love before. oh sure, i was just like every other girl in the world and had really liked someone to the point of thinking it was love, but it wasn't. and i had been naive enough to actually think that if someone paid attention to me, well, then it must mean something too, right? but my adult experience of love started the day that he and i first saw one another. it was love at first sight (well, second sight, but that's another story...).

we have been married almost 5 years. that's still a long time to me, even though my parents have been married 43 and i realize what a time commitment that is. he makes me feel safe. he brings a fresh perspective to any worry or problem that i might have. i could listen to him talk about philosophy, or art, or punk rock or religion for hours. it never gets old. he surprises me with small gestures, and big ones too. he truly puts our marriage first in his life. he forgives me. he loves me even when i have acted in ways that aren't deserving of his love.

in many respects, my experience of love as an adult is similar to that of my childhood- it is always there and i can count on it. i think about the whys and hows almost everyday. i will never be able to figure it out - and i ask him all the time - how such a cool, smart, worldly guy could love a nerdy, inexperienced, naive girl like me.

he always responds, "because i love you, sweetheart." maybe love just is. that is enough for me.