From V-day to B-day

Even though it was weeks ago, I'm finally getting around to writing about our first Valentine's Day experience in DC. I got The Hubs tickets to what I thought would be a swanky wine tasting at the DC Wine and Food Festival. However, they totally oversold - or over comped, more likely - admission to the Grand Cru lounge tasting and it was pretty packed. Plus, if you've ever been to a tasting like this, then you know how shovey and pushy wine snobs can be. We tasted some great stuff, though.

If you care about these sorts of things, here are some of my favorites from the tasting...

• 2004 Alexander Valley Vineyards Cyrus




• 2006 Tenuta Sette Ponti Oreno Super Tuscan




• 2005 Opus One Meritage




• 2002 Tattinger Brut Millesime Sparkling

Now, a word of warning. The Hubs has spoiled me, and now realizes (in a Dr. Frankenstein-the-monster-is-alive kind of way) that my preference is not for the value wines, but the good stuff. Like, the kinda pricey stuff. But hey, I firmly believe that you get what you pay for. It's his fault for always walking through the door at the end of the day with some fabulous bottle that he bought with his employee discount. ; )

Still, The Hubs appeared to be pretty happy...

Action tasting shot.

So, what was my little Valentine's day surprise? Little, indeed. To get the full story I have to take you back to the night before V-day, a Friday night after a long stressful week at work. Most Friday night celebrations of Transactionista and The Hubs involve, guess what, multiple bottles of wine, and this Friday was no exception. Which led us the next morning to bemoan the fact that Northern Virginia lacks that savior of the hangover, Bojangles. If you ever find yourself in the great state of North Carolina, get thee to a Bojangles right away and order some Bo-rounds. It's bo-tastic. I digress. So the closest that we could get to greasy fried chicken biscuits was Popeye's.

The Hubs returns with breakfast...two bags of food? That is odd; I didn't think we got that much...Wait, one of these bags feels heavy. Rightfully so, seeing as how one of the "boxes of food" was actually this type of box:

Inside of which was another box (can you see the little leather pillow?? so cute..):

Which held this:

So, let me summarize. I took my husband to a crappy, overcrowded, amateur drunk fest via public transportation, complete with a "boxed lunch" to be followed later by a very romantic Valentine's Day pizza, and The Hubs got me a watch from Tiffany. (And of course now I know how much it cost since I got the pic from their website and feel even more guilty.) I swear that my plans are always better in my head...

love - the spiritual and metaphysical

sorry for the lack of posts recently. i had grand plans of posting my definition of love on friday night, and to dedicate it to my sweet Hubs as a Valentine's gift, but i was pooped. excuses, excuses.

tomorrow night, i'll tell all about our Valentine's weekend and the material aspect of 'love'. but tonight, i just want to share what i know about love from a metaphysical sense. being a lawyer, we tend to need to define things, spell out the elements of a matter, outline the arguments for and against, present all sorts of evidence. and so last week i found myself asking the ridiculous question, 'what is love?' i think that it is ridiculous because, in my experience, love is never something that can be pinned down or defined, no matter how many times i've tried.

know that line from 'in my life' by the beatles: "and these memories lose their meaning, when i think of love as something new"? that one always chokes me up. i think of my parents and the kind of selfless love that they gave me my entire life, and continue to do so even to this day. for me, the concept of love is not new - it has been a part of my life each day that i have lived. and i can't quite explain it - they just loved me. they listened to me. they respected what i thought, even if they didn't agree. they supported what i wanted to do, and they encouraged me to try new things. they let me cry to them when someone hurt me. they celebrated my accomplishments. they helped me get through difficult times. they let me know when i did something to dissapoint them, and they forgave me for it. it was just always a given with my parents - they were there to love me.

and so it was with this background that formed my basis for romantic love - however strange that may sound. i can honestly say that before The Hubs and i got together, i had never really been in love before. oh sure, i was just like every other girl in the world and had really liked someone to the point of thinking it was love, but it wasn't. and i had been naive enough to actually think that if someone paid attention to me, well, then it must mean something too, right? but my adult experience of love started the day that he and i first saw one another. it was love at first sight (well, second sight, but that's another story...).

we have been married almost 5 years. that's still a long time to me, even though my parents have been married 43 and i realize what a time commitment that is. he makes me feel safe. he brings a fresh perspective to any worry or problem that i might have. i could listen to him talk about philosophy, or art, or punk rock or religion for hours. it never gets old. he surprises me with small gestures, and big ones too. he truly puts our marriage first in his life. he forgives me. he loves me even when i have acted in ways that aren't deserving of his love.

in many respects, my experience of love as an adult is similar to that of my childhood- it is always there and i can count on it. i think about the whys and hows almost everyday. i will never be able to figure it out - and i ask him all the time - how such a cool, smart, worldly guy could love a nerdy, inexperienced, naive girl like me.

he always responds, "because i love you, sweetheart." maybe love just is. that is enough for me.

An Afternoon with TJ

Thomas Jefferson is by far one of the figures of American history that I admire the most. His ideas were so radical at the time, but served as the backbone of our version of democracy. He was so incredibly intelligent, expressive and inventive, yet still valued his life as a farmer. A true Renaissance man; probably why I admire him so much. Above all things, he was a humanist; someone who valued the mind and heart and soul of the individual, someone who knew that it would only be through the preservation of democracy and intellectual freedom that man could flourish. The Hubs and I took advantage of the beautiful weather on Saturday and came in to the city to pay homage to Mr. Jefferson.



Here are two of my favorite men in Washington...











I love this quote that is inscribed inside the memorial. I was struck by several things there: the simplicity of the monument, its feeling of separation from the hustle and bustle of the Mall, and the gorgeous "porch" along the backside of the building. (I am sure there is a proper architectural term for it.)






I am certainly not a scholar of American history, unlike some that I know, familiar with all the details of the lives and times of our forefathers, but I consider these monuments to be truly sacred ground. As much as you can call these sacred in a true sense, without transmitting the implications of a particular religion as some try to do. Are we really able to comprehend the ideas that those men held so dear? Or do we just use them and twist them to fit our purposes? Do we stop to contemplate the Revolution at all anymore? I feel sometimes that it is all taken for granted that America exists.

Here are my parting shots of the afternoon...

this is your brain...

this is my desk. this is also a visual representation of how my brain feels after a day's work.

as you can see, it is pretty messy and cluttered. and may be a key to explaining some of the woes mentioned in my previous post. but i will try not to revisit past topics too much.

i am a firm believer in, even if not a practitioner of, the philosophy of feng shui. when my home is a mess, when my bed is unmade, when the mail and laundry lay unsorted, my life reflects it. i think that The Hubs gets it, but it seems to bother him in episodes, not constantly like me. however, isn't it easier at the end of the day to just walk out of the office and shut the door on your messy desk? i don't even have to turn off the light; the motion sensor does that for me. unfortunately the mess is always there when i return in the morning, waiting just for me. it does not require coffee, either, in order to function apparently.

i constantly dream about our "perfect house"; i even call where we live now our 'pretend house' because we are just renting. but i have all those rooms planned out in my head. the spacious, warm, light- and book-filled nooks where The beautiful Hubs and i will never make a mess. yeah, right.

february is my birth month, and i suppose that i am a little more reflective during these 28 days than at other points in the year. my birthday feels like my very own New Year's celebration. i have always considered February 25 to be the start of my year, not January 1. and the not at all subtle point i am making is that, along with those other changes that i mentioned, maybe 32 is the year to finally tackle my own interior feng shui project; not to merely close the door on another opportunity.

time + change = time for a change?

just a few thoughts tonight, as i have a loooong day in store for me tomorrow and the alarm clock will sound way too early. the life of a transactionista is filled with memos and document comments. at least mine will be so tomorrow.

TIME. i never have enough. and not in a 'time is fleeting' or 'gather ye rosebuds' kind of way. i mean in a practical, 'there just aren't enough hours in the day' way. but here's the thing: i have no good reason as to why i don't have enough time. i don't have a kid. (thank goodness; no offense to any moms.) i am not involved in any civic activities. (although i probably should be.) unfortunately right now i do not have any hobbies. i don't talk on the phone that much. i don't walk the dog. i don't go to the gym or exercise. i don't go to the grocery store. i don't spend much time at salons or getting pedicures. hell, i don't even cook anymore. i don't have to fight the morning traffic now that i take the Metro to work! but every night, i am drained to the point of exhaustion. i want to just sit, and waste whatever time that i have.

what is wrong with this picture? lots, i think. and perhaps not so much the what, is the WHY that bothers me. i seem to remember, or i have recreated in my memory, that i was once an energetic, organized, productive kind of gal. note that every time i romanticize the 'once upon a time' me, The Hubs gently reminds me that certain realities like law school, the resulting high pressure job that going to law school requires in order to pay off the law school debt, and other grown up responsibilities, were non-issues in my college glory days of enthusiastic accomplishment. these days, i dream about cooking that elegant and healthy meal for the two of us, but leave the details to the cookbooks. or better yet, reservations.

in addition to the fact that i know other people out there with the same, if not more - no, LOTS more, responsibilities run circles around my pitiful little daily routine.

which brings up the other thing, CHANGE. another difficult concept for me to fully integrate. oh sure, i can drag The Hubs and The Pete hundreds of miles away from family and friends, sell our first house, move to a place where we know no one, and that's all just part of life. but getting my lazy butt out of bed to take The Pete for a walk? or really, truly taking my lunch rather than giving in to the handy deli downstairs? or, my favorite, doing those small but significant things which can result in a healthier mind and body? now those are changes that i just can't seem to adopt.

again, i am stuck on the why. i have even resorted in recent days to blaming this all on the fact that Pisces are notoriously lazy souls. seriously.

but we are also optimistic. maybe by setting aside just a few minutes every few days to verbalize these thoughts, if to no one else but myself captured here in the blogosphere, i can start to make more of this time that i think i don't have. and perhaps the changes will come.

there is only one way to find out...

Those Winter Blues

Do you ever feel sometimes like you and your partner are a little disconnected? Like the day to day stress of jobs, home and responsibility are seeping in between you? The Hubs, with his perfect timing and charm, said to me on Saturday, "You need a little retail therapy, don't you?" What a sweet man.

So, we made haste to Tyson's Corner Mall, where based on the sheer number of people crowding the sidewalks, no one could convince me that we are in a depression. I doubt that my grandparents were loaded down with Banana Republic and Victoria's Secret bags in the 1930s.

Retail therapy for him...

And for her.